Traditional Teachings Made Relevant Today- Lesson 18: Love has to be shown by deeds not words
What is love?
I’ve been sitting here for the past 2 days trying to write a single explanation for what love is, and in all honesty I can’t.
Science tends to have this need of having logical, and rational explanation for anything and everything, and a simple internet search will tell you love is ‘a mixture of many different emotions’, ‘an intense feeling’, or ‘a strong constant affection for someone’, but I believe it’s much more than that. Love can’t be put in a box with labels on it, love is an energy that is free to flow through anything and anyone, love travels where it’s called to go, and where it is needed. Love is internal, external, and can be expressed in many different ways. Everyone will have or has their own experiences with love, and sometimes we forget that love can come in many different forms; between partners, a parent and a child, family, friends, self, the earth, and God.
Hence why I say one description of love is impossible.
For the purpose of this lesson love simplified into an equation is: a feeling + an action + a word, not necessarily in that order, but you must have all 3 equally balanced in order for it to be considered love. It’s important to note that this can be applied in any forms of love I mentioned previously.
The most significant part of this equation is the word ‘balance’; it’s the key to you being successful in love. We are a generation who are constantly bombarded with conceptions of ‘struggle love’ from external sources such as TV, social media, films and those in our lives who like to project their versions and experiences of love. For example we are told and shown that love is: rare to find, conditional, destructive, abusive, fickle, feared, or unbalanced. But in reality it’s not the energy of love that is unbalanced, it’s the person who is unbalanced, and not aligned with the energy of love.
For most people today one element of the equation is missing, so it’s either love is a feeling + a word – action, a word + action – the feelings, or action + feeling – the words, the equations aren’t balanced. Highlighting why many people feel like they are struggling when it comes to giving and receiving love in their day to day lives.
Take a moment now to think about what love means to you and what is your definition of love?
When it comes to love in its many forms; the feelings, the words and the actions must be given the same level of importance, and balanced equally.
Words will never be enough if the feeling isn’t there; you must first learn to nurture the feeling of love and allow it to grow overtime, you must learn to be patient, and take each feeling and moment as it comes.
Secondly, you must learn to open your heart up, and allow yourself to receive love, many people tend to be guarded in order to protect themselves from experiencing hurt or pain. Now there is nothing wrong with having an initial guard to protect yourself, as we live in a world where not everyone’s intentions are true or good. The issue lies when you knowingly want to experience this love, but refuse or can’t find the courage to take your guard down. Whether that love brings you happiness or meets your worst fear; it adds to your life experience, as the saying goes ‘tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all’.
Words will never be enough if the actions don’t match; love isn’t abusive, lonely, possessive, scary, or selfish, but a person can be. The act of loving is a skill in itself, something you will have to identify, learn and apply in your everyday life. The daily act of loving has been broken down into 5 love languages:
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Gift receiving
4. Acts of service
5. Physical touch
Although many people tend to look at these 5 love languages in relation to a romantic partnership, they can be applied to all forms of love. For example, you can learn to speak positive words of affirmation to your partner, children, self, friends, family, the earth, and God. Or learn to spend quality time with your partner, children, self, friends, family, the earth and God, and so on. As love is reciprocal, insure you receive this in return.
No one has just one love language; but a combination of all 5, so take the time to study yourself, and the person who is receiving your love and know when to apply each one.
When you have an equal balance of feelings + words + actions then you know it’s real love, anything other than that is a compromise, love is an energy that is free to flow through anything and anyone, love travels where it’s called to go, and where it is needed. Love is internal, external, love can be found in many places, and the key to finding love, real love, true love… lies within.
Affirmation: I am love